The You I've Come To Know (A Mother's Love Book 1) Read online

  He liked the way she wore her clothes. Her wardrobe was casual and practical, plain but not plain at all. That made no sense, he knew, but the way she pulled the simple pieces together gave the impression of high fashion. Or maybe it was just the way she moved, lithely, economically, yet as elegantly as any woman who made her living on a runway.

  What struck him the most, however, was how Willa could make the switch from outdoors to indoors without so much as a blink. She cracked eggs with one hand, knew by a sniff of the air when to turn the bacon, had rolled and cut biscuits to fit a man’s appetite. None of those skills was peculiar to Willa or particularly difficult.

  But he didn’t know another woman who could whip through the full breakfast routine and calm forty pounds of frightened teeth and claws with the same ease. He’d yet to see her tackle a task with anything but confidence.

  He wondered what she’d be like in bed. He wondered how long it would be before he found out. Because he would find out. He knew that—had known that since he’d drunk coffee across the table from her twenty-four hours ago.

  Willa Grace Darling said more with her eyes than she did with words. Eyes were Joel’s specialty, a fact of life he wasn’t quite ready to let her in on. Right now, he wanted to keep the upper hand.

  That is, if he’d ever had it.

  Chapter Ten

  JENNIFER AND ROB COLLINS LIVED a good hour’s drive from the wooded area both Willa and Joel called home. The development northeast of Houston was known as the Livable Forest, a neighborhood with tremendous appeal to upwardly mobile families and oil execs.

  Willa preferred her corner of the world—not that she didn’t appreciate the aesthetic beauty of the planned community and Jennifer’s warmly welcoming home in particular. The Collinses’ place, for all its trendy façade, had the cozy ambiance of a mountain lodge done in deep greens and cranberry accents.

  But Willa was too used to her less-structured way of life to envy what she admittedly admired. She and Joel seemed to have that in common, she mused, following him through the winding hallways of the vast ground floor and listening to his grumbled complaints about home builders and master plans.

  He stopped in the doorway to Leigh’s nursery and glanced around the room of the bright reds and purples. “Two adults and a ten-month-old in a house the size of Idaho. I’d question my sister’s sanity if I didn’t know this place was a drop in the bucket of what she and Rob can afford.”

  Willa barely held her grin. “And it’s none of your business anyway, right?”

  “Right.” He shot her a teasing glare then stepped inside and glanced around the room, hands braced at his lean waist as his gaze roamed. “Besides, Rob’s sanity is even more suspect. Letting Jen loose with a paintbrush in here. Where was the man’s head?”

  Willa moved past Joel to put a squirming Leigh on the floor of familiar territory. She took off on two wobbly feet, heading for a stack of soft alphabet blocks, fairly diving into the center of the colorful cotton plush pile.

  “I thought you approved of the color choices.” She watched Joel watch Leigh, feeling more than a small jolt in the region of her heart at the tender expression that reached up to crinkle the corners of his eyes. “Something about child development and primary colors and a psychological connection?”

  He shook his head, smiling as his niece pointed up at him and gurgled. “I’m afraid I’m gonna have to jump on Rob’s bandwagon here. This room has Woodstock written all over it. And I don’t mean the bird.”

  “It’s not that bad” Willa took in the purple and red counterpane, crib bumpers, ruffle, and curtains, the yellow and green accents on lamp shades, and the splashy combination of the same colors in broad brush strokes on white walls. “Leigh certainly doesn’t mind.”

  The baby was face down in the heap of cushy toys, now, rubbing her cheeks against the material and cooing quietly to herself. Her knees were tucked to her tummy, her hair lay in silky disarray. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was working, making sweet baby bubbling noises through a sweet baby smile.

  Willa felt a maternal tug pull at her belly and breast. Moments such as these were rare and treasured more for being so, treasured for the pure innocence that was found in chubby tummies and angel cheeks, thickly diapered skyward rumps and tiny fingers nursed by tiny mouths.

  They were treasured for the awareness that she would have to take these moments as they came, few and far between, enjoying the precious quiet times with babies who would never be her own.

  If she envied Jennifer Collins anything, it was that she would see her child grow and experience the wondrous changes brought by each passing year. Willa had her own wellspring of blessings, but still she wished she might have known the same.

  A deep breath and she looked up to find Joel watching her watch Leigh. His gaze was more than a casual acknowledgment of her interest, nearly an involved attentiveness to what she was feeling—and why. She chalked it up to curiosity and let it be.

  At least she thought she had. Until she heard the sound of her voice and found herself answering the questions he’d silently, wordlessly asked.

  “I had an accident. When I was ten.” She hugged her arms beneath her breasts and followed the baby’s antics. “A silly slip of footing while climbing a fence. The same fence I’d scrambled over dozens of times. I guess I was a little too sure of myself, you know?”

  She gave a small laugh. Sure of herself barely covered the young hoyden she’d been. “I have a couple of nice scars to show for that Humpty Dumpty spill, but the worst of the damage was internal. The doctor who put me back together again said my chances for having children couldn’t be any worse.”

  Joel screwed his eyes closed, opened them slowly. Sorrowfully. “What does the doctor say now?”

  “Not much of anything new,” she answered, her voice soft in the silence of the loud room.

  “I’m sorry—”

  She cut him off with a shake of her head. If she wanted anything from Joel, it certainly wasn’t pity. “Don’t be. Seriously. It happened a long time ago.”

  He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, watching as Leigh settled into the comfortable nest she’d burrowed for herself. He nodded toward the baby. “I’ve seen you with Scout, you know.”

  “Please don’t tell me I’d make a good mother.” She’d never worked out in her mind why that particular platitude should make her feel better. “And, yes. Before you say anything I know adoption’s an option.”

  He nodded, seemed to think. “So is stepparenting.”

  She shrugged. “Sure. If it happens. But it’s not like I’m about to let the issue of children make or break a relationship,” she added under her breath.

  It seemed a long minute later when Joel said, “That’s happened to you, hasn’t it?”

  She stuffed her hands in her front pockets, unsure how far to take what was personal and really not relevant to what might or might not happen between her and Joel.

  “Once or twice, yeah,” she settled on saying. “Nice guys who’ve said they don’t mind not having children. At least until it comes down to the wire and they’re hit with the epiphany that children are exactly what they want.”

  “What do you want?” he asked, his voice searching and sympathetic, but still wary.

  Enough of the depressing stuff. She tilted her head to one side, cast him a glance from beneath her lashes. “In a relationship? Or in a good time?”

  Joel snorted, leaning back against Leigh’s changing table. “1-900-Big-Boys will get you a good time. I figure you’re looking for more than that.”

  “Eventually, sure. But I don’t plan to rush true love or happily ever after. And in the meantime... I’d like more company than my own.”

  “You shouldn’t have a hard time finding... company.” Joel’s voice was low. The once-over he gave her spoke volumes.

  “Because I’m tall and leggy and blond?” She knew she’d interpreted his comment correctly by the appreciative male look that dark
ened his eyes—a look that sparked a purely female thrill, raising the tiny hairs on her spine. “You’re right. I don’t. Or at least I didn’t.”

  He raised a brow. “You’ve stopped looking?”

  “Just taking a break. The tall, blond, leggy thing seems to be a chaff magnet.” She walked the length of Leigh’s crib, nearer to Joel, ran a finger down the side railing. “I got tired of weeding through the chaff.”

  “What do you do now? For... company?” he asked, his voice going husky with the last word.

  Interesting the way they’d chosen to talk around the topic of sex. She turned to face him. “I haven’t had company for a very long time.” She shrugged, not certain she wanted to spell out for this man how many of his gender were entitled pigs. “It’s easier just... not to.”

  “That’s a shame,” he said, pushing away from the table and coming closer, closer still, close enough for their clothing to brush like flint to kindling and catch fire. “Because I make for really good company.”

  She looked up into his eyes, his face but inches away. His lashes were too long and too lazy, his expression rife with flirtation and fun, his smile filled with endless and exciting possibilities. A low moan escaped her throat and Joel’s hands made contact, skating over her rib cage.

  Softly, she laughed, amazed how this attraction between them had so quickly blossomed. But this was neither the time nor the place and they’d do best to keep the moment light and playful before the tension escalated and Joel’s hands moved higher.

  Willa took a deep breath, inhaling his warmth and aroused scent. It was hard to think straight after that. But the sudden muffled snore of the sleeping baby caught her attention and turned their two’s company into three’s a crowd.

  She blinked slowly, met Joel’s smoky gaze. “It seems your munchkin is down for the count.”

  Joel frowned, focused, looked toward the place where Leigh had settled to play. He shook his head and smiled. “Like I said, anytime—”

  “Anywhere.” Moving away from his tempting mouth, Willa finished his thought on her way to the closet where she found another tote bag and the safety of distance. “I’m going to pack up her clothes while she’s out.”

  “Right. Yeah. We need to get moving.” Joel backed toward the door. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll just go check on Shadow.”

  Nodding, she pulled open a drawer and found one-piece rompers. “Good idea. This shouldn’t take me long.”

  “You need help?”

  She shook her head, smiled, kept her eyes on her task. “I’m fine.”

  “All right then. I’ll be out back if you need me.” And then he was gone.

  Willa slumped against the closet door, glad the room contained a crib and not anything larger of the bed variety. Because what she hadn’t been ready for last night, she was definitely ready for now.

  HOW A TEN-MONTH-OLD managed to get dirt in every crease of skin from head to toe, Joel would never understand. But somehow Scout had succeeded.

  Standing in front of his linen closet, he bounced her on one hip in an attempt to keep her awake long enough for a bath and a bottle.

  It had been a long day for all of them.

  He’d walked into Jen’s backyard and found Shadow with no food and no water. The dog had been lying in a hole freshly dug beneath the cedar privacy fence in an apparent attempt to escape starvation and solitary confinement.

  With a vow to return for a piece of Howie Jr.’s irresponsible teenage hide, Joel had loaded the muddy retriever into the bed of the pickup. Willa walked out of Jen’s house minutes later and, after fastening the baby securely in her car seat, had calmed the excited dog and suggested they skip their planned lunch stop and make a beeline for home.

  Leigh had been vocally adamant about getting her hands on her pet, straining around in her seat to see out the cab’s rear window and making the drive an experience Joel would just as soon not repeat. Once they arrived at Willa’s place, he’d finally given in, figuring at the worst he’d have to reimburse Jen for a ruined pair of red Winnie-The-Pooh pajamas.

  After a quick lunch, he and Scout had spent the rest of the afternoon at the kennels with Willa where all the dogs received her attention. Joel had pitched in, cleaning the pens while Willa made quick work of baths and grooming. The hours gave him a firsthand taste of the exhausting pace her profession required as well as the exacting performance she required of herself.

  Leigh had watched from the sidelines, in her Exersaucer, clapping her hands and calling out to the dogs as each was put through its routine. But afternoon had become evening and, though Joel had fed lunch to the munchkin, she became cranky with hunger and the need to sleep.

  He hadn’t wanted to come home. Not because his seduction was progressing and he hated to leave, but because he enjoyed Willa’s company.

  He had a responsibility to his niece and his sister, however. So, he’d have to be satisfied knowing he’d see Willa tomorrow. And he’d make it a point to do so.

  Scout snuggled her sleepy head into his neck. Smiling, he dropped a kiss on her cheek. He loved this baby. He couldn’t imagine loving one of his own more than he did this child of his sister’s.

  His family was a bachelor’s dream. They offered loving support—even in his decision to live his life alone. Because of that, in fact, they were there for him probably more than they would’ve been if he had a wife to come home to each night.

  He spent a lot of his days off with his dad. They fished. They golfed. Recently, they’d even begun rebuilding a short-block Chevy engine. Joel enjoyed those times. It gave him a chance to talk, really talk, with his father.

  But it was Jen with whom he talked about relationships. Not that he sought her out for that purpose. His sister happened to be all woman, able to pry out thoughts and dreams and feelings he never even admitted to himself.

  She was the one who understood best why he didn’t want children. She respected his decision, admired his conviction. Or so she said. It was what she didn’t say, the words she left unspoken that were the hardest to hear.

  Jen had found such happiness with Rob, she wanted the same for her brother. And she had trouble accepting that Joel could be happy with the status quo when he hadn’t experienced such a partnership as the one she shared with her husband—one that had produced the precious child curled up against Joel’s chest.

  God, what would he have done if something had happened yesterday to Leigh? How would he have explained his actions to Jen? Jen being Jen, she’d never have blamed him. She would’ve grieved and blamed the teen duo, the store clerk, the time of day, and the weather.

  But then she wouldn’t have had to place blame where blame belonged. Joel would’ve done that, blamed himself enough for both of them, blamed himself for thinking like a cop instead of like Leigh’s uncle.

  He blew out a snort. Thinking like a cop. As if he knew how to think any other way. He obviously didn’t. He would’ve thought of the danger to both Leigh and Willa if he knew how to think like a friend or an uncle.

  Damn.

  As much as he’d enjoyed Willa’s company today and was looking forward to tomorrow, he still hadn’t gotten over yesterday, the day they’d spent together, the way they’d appeared—to more than one person—to be a couple.

  That would mean he and Willa had shared the type of looks that passed between Jen and Rob. That he and Willa had given off vibes that strangers had picked up on.

  He wasn’t exactly at ease with the fact that they’d achieved a comfort level that a lot of committed couples took serious time reaching. It implied an intimacy they shouldn’t have shared without being, well, intimate.

  Not that intimacy was long in coming. Her body had been ready last night, but her mind had still needed time. Judging by her response—and her comments—in the nursery earlier today, Willa had spent the past twenty-four hours deep in thought. Joel liked that. He liked that a lot.

  He wasn’t sure what to make of Willa’s confession,
or if he understood why she’d told him of her accident. Was it to reassure him that pregnancy wouldn’t be a problem? And that she hadn’t had a lover in a very long time?

  That seemed to be the most logical reason, the only one with any bearing on whatever relationship they might have. Hmm. Joel shifted Leigh to his opposite shoulder. “Might have” was a poor choice of words, he mused, as confidence brought a smile to his mouth.

  “Might” left open a door of doubt about what would happen between him and Willa. And there wasn’t a doubt in his mind about what would happen, what was going to happen, what he couldn’t wait to happen.

  And even as prurient thoughts crossed his mind, a shadow crossed the hallway.

  Chapter Eleven

  “DO YOU NEED SOME HELP?”

  Willa had showered and changed and hurried over, knowing Joel had a very sleepy—not to mention dirty—baby on his hands. Now she walked to where he stood with his niece against his shoulder, the baby dozing, then startling herself awake each time he moved.

  He offered Willa the strangest grin, almost as if he’d been thinking about her before she’d appeared. “You can help me get Scout here into the tub before she passes out on me.”

  “I have a better idea.” She reached past him, snatched up a towel, a bottle of liquid baby bath, and headed for the kitchen. Joel followed, stepping into the room as she squared the terry cloth on the counter next to the sink. “Make it an adventure and she’ll stay awake and curious long enough to get clean.”

  “You’re going to bathe her in the sink?”

  Men. “Think of it as a munchkin-sized bathtub. No different than the one you bathe in, just smaller. And waist level. Easier on your leg and all.”

  “Practical. I like that in a woman,” he said, surrendering Leigh when she reached.

  She set the baby on the towel, adjusted the water temperature, and stripped Joel’s niece down to her diaper while the sink filled. Leigh’s giggles began the minute the first soap bubbles popped inches from her nose. She poked chubby fingers into the suds and squealed her delight.